Thursday, June 24, 2010

Hit fast-forward, please

Time feels like it has stopped. Do you ever feel that way?

I have been focused on what lies in the future, our move to Chile, for so long that I just can’t stand the present. The longer it takes, the more anxious I am to just get it over with, to get there already. I thought we would be gone by now and the boredom and insanity is settling in. Plus, summer heat has turned on full blast and I really didn’t want to experience another Texas summer—they suck! I know, I know, much of this is just the mind-set I am in and that if I were to look at this in a more positive light, as a special time with the kids, I might feel better about it. But mostly, I just feel irritable.

What I would like is to just sleep until this big move is over and I am in Chile complaining about the cold. But it has been interminable waiting. I just want to fast-forward. Where is that button for real life?

Our first contract on the house, after several extensions out of the goodness of our hearts, has fallen through. Fortunately, we have a back-up offer, which we will sign tonight, and surely there is no way we can have as many problems with this one—it is just not mathematically possible (but knock on wood). But it means more waiting.

Interestingly, I may have a job opportunity that fits my profile quite well. It is only part-time, with the potential for full-time starting in March. I don’t want to pass up the opportunity, though the pay for part-time is not superb by any stretch of the imagination. But it would mean leaving the hubs here to finish up with the house and taking the kids to Chile in the next few weeks—BY MYSELF!!!!!—a prospect that terrifies me to no end. Though I know we’ll have lots of support there, it would be a lot of stress and work. But even thinking of the flight with the two kids gives me the shivers. It’s ok, you can say it, I already know—I am a major wimp. Well, not wimp really, I can DO anything I put my mind to, it just causes great panic beforehand.

Oh, I may also have need for a rewind button and a replay option for some of my “taking care of children while irritated” behavior lately… if you happen to find a remote control with those features.

and just a reminder... tomorrow Chile plays Spain at 1:30 central time (2:30 Eastern/11:30 pacific). It is the colonized versus the colonizer... Even though Chile is leading the group, passing on to the next round depends on this game (and what happens in the Switzerland-Honduras game).

(remember that guy?)


Of course, when they pass on, they will play either Brazil or Portugal, at which time it will be appropriate to genuflect and raise your eyes to heaven, mumbling in prayer.


Heather said...

Yeah! Congrats on the backup offer and the job opportunity. Go for it, I'm sure you be able to handle whatever comes your way.
Hope to see you on the "other side" someday soon!

Phoenix said...

Yay for backup plans and job offers...

My roommate (he's British) is glued to the TV these days for the World Cup so I'm sure I'll catch the game... ugh, as long as it's not the one that airs at 7 am PST! :) But I'll root for Chile too (until they're up against the US... sorry...)

mosey said...

Urgh, it's that perspective thing again, isn't it? Enjoy the moment, be in the now, blah dee blah? Sometimes utterly impossible.

I'm glad to hear, however, that the house sale is moving forward. And I want to hear more about the job!

p.s. Were you into soccer before hubs entered your life?

Abby said...

I do not envy you in your decision making regarding the job, nor about the prospect of traveling alone with two small children. Whenever I travel and see either a mother or father (though more often than not it's the mother) alone with kids, I either think she's destined for the insane asylum or sainthood!

On a more positive note, this line made me laugh outloud: " which time it will be appropriate to genuflect and raise your eyes to heaven, mumbling in prayer."

Haha, but VAMOS CHILE!!!

PS. my word verification is "comenti"...comment in Italian??

Bex said...

I 100% know what you mean. I am so anxious to leave (did I mention we're moving back to Scotland in a month) that I no longer care about anything here, and the house has fallen into a state of wild disrepair. Just get me out of here!

And go Chile!

Maggie May said...

that is very much how i'm feeling about maternity leave. now that i have it in my head i'll be gone from my job ( which i love in some ways but bores me to tears in others ) i feel very restless. hang in there.

Wendi said...

Wait, what? You're moving to Chile? I'm so far behind.

How exciting! Oh, my gosh, I'm thrilled for you & your family. That is going to be amazing.

mrs.notouching said...

I would be the last person to judge you... the last time I have traveled with my ONE kid was exactly a year ago and that was only a 3 hour trip by car that took me a little over 6 hours because of all the stops I had to make... I couldn't just drive with a screaming baby... Two kids and a plain sounds like mission impossible to me.
Good luck with the house and congrats on a possible job offer!