Saturday, October 11, 2008

Why blog

I feel like when you start a blog you owe some kind of explanation. You have to state an objective, a public in mind, sentiments you feel the overwhelming need to share with the "interworld." I am not sure why I started a blog. I guess because I have been reading blogs lately for some reason, very uncharacteristic of me, but nevertheless. . . here we are. . .

I don't know that I want people I know to read it. Have you noticed that when you write knowing who is going to read it, it changes what you say and how you say it? And let's be frank here, who else, but people I know, would want to read it? Ah therein lies the rub!

I think I am trying to escape the inevitibilty of working on my dissertation. Thinking about writing THAT monstrosity has made me want to write anything else. I propositioned a good friend of mine, asked her if I could write her adoption story... denied--too personal. Then I asked the same friend if she wanted to illustrate the children's books I had in mind. . . She must think I'm trying to capitalize on her life and talents and that I can't write anything on my own.

Ah, but she is wrong. . . I have my dissertation!!! and it is mine all mine hahaha (evil laughter)

of course other projects don't seem so hopelessly endlessly pointlessly fruitless.

I do want to finish my Ph.D. But I think I am afraid of what happens after I finish. Then what? Accept the fact that having completed a Ph.D. has, in fact, made it impossible to get a job in anything but academia? (trust me I know, I tried all summer to find a"lay person's" job). I am, apparently, not qualified to do anything other than read academic articles and write academic papers.

So I will write for me

and post photos of pumpkins

And of my brave daughter jumping off the pile of hay when even the bigger kids didn't dare

and of chubby baby Nico. . . mi gordito, who drools incessantly which, of course, I love

and I will tell no one . . .

1 comment:

Heather said...

I remember reading this before and you mentioned this is on Abby's post today. You stated it really well when you said that you have to change "what you say and how you say it" based on who is reading it! And when you don't know that makes it even trickier. So I guess my blog is for everyone else and for me I have to get another "Dear Diary" book with a little latch lock on the front!