The Way it Used to Be

G used to love me best. I didn’t gloat about it; it was just the way it was. She wanted me to do everything. She wanted to be around me at all times. She loved her Papi, but only in small increments and never when she was scared or hurt.

G and I had our little thing. It went something like this:

Me: “Guess what?”

G: “I love you.”

Me: “Guess how much I love you?”

Both: “This much!” (and we hold our arms out as far as they’ll go and then we give each other a big hug)

I was initially trying to get her to say “What?” and then I would say “I love you” but it worked out this way.

Well, this is how it used to go anyway… until Papi took over the scene. Once baby Nico was born and Mami was busy… A LOT! and couldn’t do all the things she used to do for G.

Now, it is ALL about Papi. Now, I think he is great, I married him after all, but G thinks he is a rock star, that the sun rises and sets in Papi’s presence, that all things joyous and fun emanate from Papi. G wants Papi to do everything for her. She wants to be around Papi at all times. Since I am home all day with her, I am the one who gets to do most of the disciplining, which, as you know, is very enjoyable. Every time she gets a time-out she cries: “I want Papi.” When she wakes up, the first thing she asks is “Where’s Papi?” When Papi gets home from work, G wants NOTHING to do with Mami... Mami is old hat and no fun. She plays and rolls around and laughs with Papi. She wants Papi to brush her teeth; she wants Papi to put her to bed; she wants Papi to make her milk. I am not complaining that I no longer have to do all that work (and it is work, you always have to catch her first), but seriously… Papi papi papi papi papi papi, it kind of starts to get annoying, you know? And I am starting to feel like a leper.

Now, our little conversation looks like this:

Me: “Guess What?”

G: (automatically) “I love you.” (hesitation) “No, I love Papi.”

Me: “You don’t love me?”

G: “No” (pretty emphatically)

Me: “Not even a little?” (you’d think I’d muster up some dignity by this point... hmm, no... dignity is not my style)

G: “Hmm, a little.” (NOT very convincingly)

G: “But I love Papi BIG! "

She even shows me with her hands how little she loves me and how big she loves Papi. “Like this” she says, and holds out her hands.


This is how little G loves Mami:

Here is how BIG G loves Papi:





That doesn’t seem fair does it?

I mean, I don’t want to brush more teeth or wipe more little bums than necessary, but…

I WANT BIG LOVE TOO!