25 Things About Me-- for Bee

My cousin-in law tagged me on Facebook for 25 things about me. I thought I would oblige, but I think I want to post it here instead. It was insanely hard to think of 25 things to write about myself that 1) I thought anyone else might want to read and 2) that didn’t violate some kind of privacy/confidentiality rule. I realized writing this that 25 things is A LOT of things to write about oneself and then, well, I am verbose. So in short, it is long! I will in no way feel offended if you don’t want to read them all, or all in one sitting. I also apologize because it seems this 25 things thing is contagious, I have seen it on several blogs I frequent. So if you are all 25-ed out, feel free to make your escape.


1. I ran away a lot as a kid: I moved into my closet, the basement, the top bunk, an old chicken coop, the neighbors ditch, etc. One day my older sister and a younger brother and I took all of our tithing money for church and ran away. We thought we had enough to live on for a few weeks, but blew all $9 in one day on corn dogs, suckers, and bubble gum.

2. I love red wine, but I cross my fingers and genuflect now when I drink it because it usually gives me a headache. It makes me very, very, very sad. I still drink it, hoping that this time I will wake up refreshed… but I usually don’t. What can I say? I am either the eternal optimist or a very slow learner.

3. I can’t sleep with any sensory stimulation: no lights, no music, no noise— (I sleep with earplugs and I can still hear my kids)—and for the love of Pete—DON’T TOUCH ME! I don’t want to spoon or snuggle while I am sleeping. Don’t throw your arm over me and keep your feet on your side of the bed. Thank you.

4. I hated the movie Forrest Gump. I know that is like a sacrilege, since 99.9% of the country loves it. I hated all of those “Gump-isms” that came out of it—you know those quasi-philosophical phrases like “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get” GAG! You know what? If life were like a box of chocolates, we would all be happy—it doesn’t matter what you get, it is chocolate!! The problem is, that sometimes life hands you a turd… that isn’t even chocolate-covered.

5. My favorite books as a child were the Dorrie the Witch series. Dorrie is a little girl witch who wears mis-matched socks, has a cat named “Gink,” and gets into trouble trying to do “big witch” things. They are not around much anymore but I want to buy some for my daughter. I checked once on Amazon a few years ago and found a few for a few bucks. I should have bought them then because now they sell for $20-something. Uh… note to book people: I am not old enough to have my childhood books considered antiques or collectibles!


6. As a tween, I loved Nancy Drew. I even wanted to be a detective for a long time. It seemed so sophisticated and glamorous.

7. I was obsessed with Native Americans in high school and college. I read tons of Native American history and literature. I wanted to be that white woman on Dances with Wolves who was kidnapped as a young girl and grew up with the Indians. One of my friends sent me a pair of Robeez shoes, for my son, that look like moccasins—she says they reminded her of the ones I had in college. I think she is mocking me, but I am not sure.

8. My next obsession, Spanish, has lasted a lot longer. I read literature and watch movies in Spanish. I have a lot of Spanish music. I have lived abroad. I even married a Spanish speaker. I don’t believe in reincarnation, but if it exists, I was Spanish royalty in a previous life. It had to have been royalty… do you think I would LOVE Spanish this much if I had been a peon?

9. I don’t really have celebrity crushes. Once when I was teaching English though, I did mention to my class, as part of an exercise and for lack of anyone else that came to mind, that I would like to meet Val Kilmer. I had just seen Tombstone and liked his character. My husband still won’t let me live it down. If I ever choose a movie that has Kilmer in it he’ll make some snide comment. Did you see him in Tombstone??—he played an alcoholic dying of consumption for Pete’s sake… he was not even semi-nice-looking.

10. I used to write poetry. The stuff I wrote in high school was dark and depressing. But I still like some of the stuff I wrote in college. I argue every now and then with my mom about how poetry doesn’t have to rhyme all the time. I wish I felt more inspired to write it still… maybe some day I’ll take it up again.

11. I swear sometimes—not that much—with life’s daily frustrations, but I talk A LOT of smack in the car. I try to tone it down when my kids are in the car, by removing choice words or just muttering under my breath. But every once in a while I hear G repeat what I said: “Where’s your blinker moron?” or “Can you go any slower?” So I know I have to be more careful. Even though I talk smack in the car, I am a good driver—I have never gotten a traffic ticket (knock on wood), I go with the flow of traffic—never the fastest or slowest one on the road. I don’t weave in and out of traffic only to stop like everyone else at the next light, I don’t tailgate, I don’t pull out in front of people, and I use my blinkers. Stupid drivers annoy me to no end—hence all the smack-talk.

12. I am a teacher by nature and I am so patient with my students, but outside of the classroom I have absolutely NO patience. I always feel bad when I snap at my husband… but seriously… asking me where the spatula is before he even looks… we have two utensil drawers; my guess is it’s in one of those. Now, sometimes before he asks a question that he knows will get an eye-roll and a sarcastic comment he’ll preface it like this: Me--Can you make the baby a bottle? He--Ok… uh… don’t get mad, but… how many ounces?

13. I hate to admit that I got into something because of a man… but I got into running because of my husband. My two roomies in college were runners and I never wanted to run with them. But when I started dating my husband and he wanted to go for a run, there were no hesitations or complaints. Once I started running, I liked it for myself—I love that feeling of endorphins after a long hard run.

14. When I was living in Chile, with more than 3000 miles of coast and more kinds of seafood than you will ever see in the U.S., I made myself conquer my fear of shellfish (well most, there is still something about the idea of oysters that gives me the heebie-jeebies). I also decided it was silly to keep thinking I didn’t like mushrooms.

15. I spent one summer in college reading a bunch of erotic literature that had once been banned.

16. I don’t smoke and I can’t stand the smell, but one of my secret wishes is to have been born in the early 1900’s so I could have been a flapper in the 20’s. I would definitely have smoked then, while demanding universal sufferage, because it was considered kind of subversive for a woman.

17. I love dancing salsa and merengue—my husband—not so much. I had to make him take a salsa class with me just so he could learn. We always joke about how I have more Latin blood than he does and that if our kids end up with any rhythm, it will be thanks to me.

18. Loud noises scare the crap out of me. I think I was killed by gunfire in a previous life, because every time I hear a loud noise (like the backfire of a car) I instinctively scream and crouch into a standing fetal position as if ducking for cover.

19. I don’t like spiders. I can kill them or even remove small ones in a cup, but I can’t sleep if I know there is one in the room. The idea of them crawling on me creeps me out… plus I think I have the tastiest blood on earth because everything bites me. One of the funniest fights I ever had with a boyfriend was over whether or not he should have to get rid of a spider. He called me a speciesist and said the spider had as much right as I did to be there— I should have said “Oh yeah, did he chip in for rent?”

20. My mom sewed a lot of our clothes by hand when we were little. I remember once when I was about 4 she whipped out a swimsuit while I napped so I could swim later with friends. Of course, in gym class in 7th grade when I had home-sewn underwear—it was not so cool! I was mortified.

21. I have a horrible, horrible voice, but I love to sing really loud in the car. I also sing to my kids but you can tell they think I have the best voice ever…I love that about having kids.

22. Growing up in a big, poor family, we all suffered from the “there’s-not-enough” and the “you-got-more-than-me” complexes. There is no known treatment or cure, and once you have caught it, you are prone to have outbreaks for the rest of your life, even when logic and reason tell you that there is plenty and that you can always buy more.

23. My house is fairly tidy, but I am nowhere near the clean-freak my mom is. But even if I don’t wash the floors or clean the bathrooms as often as I should, the house has to be orderly. I’ll pick up and put away toys and clothes all day, but it seems like clutter is a battle that can’t be won. Oh, and I hate dirty dishes in the sink—the kitchen has to be clean.

24. I am a big nerd. I love studying and learning. I love trivia, even if it is useless. I am the geek at the party who can’t talk Superbowl or Desperate Housewives but says “I read once that humpback whales sing a mating song that is 30 minutes long.” Yep, that’s me!

25. I don’t know how much I believe in the signs of the zodiac (not the daily horoscope but the general descriptions of the signs), but my husband and I are the 3rd generation of the Taurus-Virgo combo: he, his dad and his grandpa are all Taurus and they all married women of the same sign: myself, his mom and his grandma are Virgos. Coincidence?