Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Anti-Twitterer

(I borrowed this pic off the twitter website, I think)

I have a sister, who if it weren’t for her complete lack of techno-sophistication, would be hilarious to follow on Twitter. She texts things like: “Hickory Dick on a hobby horse.” I have no idea what that means, but I find it quite amusing. Reading some tweet about which ice cream to choose at the supermarket or about going to get your hair cut—not so amusing.

I am not on Twitter (which is why there is not a little box off to the side here that says “Follow me on Twitter.”) I sort of have an idea of what Twitter is and I am pretty sure I don’t want anything to do with it.

First, I don’t even like to touch my cell phone (Twitter is for your cell phone, right?) I use about 5 minutes of my plan every month. I have over 5,000 roll over minutes and hundreds that expire every month (I wish I could sell my minutes and buy a laptop—I need one of those more than my minutes). I am this close (can you see my fingers this close together?) to canceling my plan and getting a go-phone.

Second, I don’t text. I am just not from that generation… or something. Well, actually, I usually don’t text, I don’t even have a texting plan for my cell, but one day a few weeks ago I was bored and started sending naughty little texts to my hubs and pics of my feet to my sister—highly entertaining! But my texting frenzy has stopped and I have repented.

Third, I really don’t want to send out constant updates on my boring life or read anyone else’s updates or what they consider clever little thoughts—though they may really be funny. That's what blogs are for, right? I am sure it can be useful for some things, so this is not meant to belittle Twitterers, it’s just not for me, right now anyway.

I did get an email notification from Twitter, though, the other day saying that my mom wants to follow me on Twitter. I actually think she wants ME to follow HER. It would be rude to list so publicly all the reasons that would annoy the crap out of me.

Later my mom, in one of the mass emails she sends, that are like 10 pages long, talking about the need to use a parasite cleanse or the new vaccine for the swine flu that will be mandatory and will KILL you (you heard it here first), she complains that she is being hampered by the 140 character limit. As in, she CANNOT write something that has fewer than 140 characters. If you knew my mom, this would not surprise you even a little. She’ll probably have to start an idea in one tweet and finish it over the next 15 tweets, sent one after the other.

Another reason I will now never be on Twitter… I’d rather poke my eyes out than get my mom’s tweets. Is that bad to say about my own mom?

(of course I mean no offense to you mom, if you ever find my blog accidentally)


mosey along said...

I too am firmly in the Anti-Twittering camp.

My cellphone is for taking photos and the odd call to get my husband to pick up milk on his way home.

I *am* on Facebook because I like seeing updated pictures of my friends and family, but curl my lip judgementally at incessant status updates.

This post was just the laugh I needed to jolt me out of the ennui in my own head.

(hope you had a great weekend!)

Danielle said...

I'm getting a pretty funny visual of you poking your eyes out receiving your moms tweets! HA! Your always good for a laugh.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who is not part of the tweet world. Blogs are enough. I barely make time to do those.

Abby said...

Haha I used to feel the same way about you and then I joined twitter. I don't update it that much, but at the end of the day I look through all the tweets and click on interesting links. It's how I get my pop-culture from the US that I so sorely miss here in Chile.

I laughed out loud at the description of your mom's tweets! Haha. Oh, and I'll send you that stuff about my thesis, no prob. :)

Margaret said...

Yeah, like Abby, I finally caved and became a Twit(terer)... but really, REALLY don't want it on my phone... my phone is for MY convenience, so that I can call out when I need to, not so people can tell me all the minute details of their lives all day long!
So... you are not alone!!