Paralysis

I am indecisive. Very indecisive. Until I make a final decision and then I am very decided, there is no swaying me and I feel totally justified in my decision.

But until I decide, my mind is a blur of ifs and buts, pros and cons, hemming one way, hawing the other. I incessantly weigh the possible consequences of one decision over the other. I mull it over, chew on it, for endless minutes, hours or days, depending on the decision to be made.

Sometimes it is a decision as to what hair product to buy (banal, I know, but it is a hard decision). Gel or mousse? curl enhancer or frizz tamer? I sit there in the aisle for 10 minutes, grab a product, have second-thoughts, put it back, grab another, re-think, put it back, get the first product.... It's so annoying. It is a defect, really. You may want to rethink your desire to go out to eat with me. I take forever to order.

It becomes a kind of paralysis, this indecision. I can't make up my mind and then I am usually limited by other factors and then there is not much of a choice.

I am paralyzed right now on a minor decision and a major decision.

The minor one is a kitchen aid mixer, remember how I said I have been pining for one. Well, when my initial plan to win one from the Pioneer Woman didn't pan out, I had to comeup with plan B, namely, buy one.

One issue is that the US uses 110 voltage and Chile uses 220. I know several people who have taken their 110 mixers to Chile and just got an adapter. Kitchenaid, of course, discourages this practice and warns against electrocution, maiming and such (maybe not that dire), but certainly you could suffer from equipment failure.

Well, I found a website that sells 220 volt mixers for use out of the US, for a decent price, about the price of the 110 volt ones (price is an issue buying outside of the US--they cost about twice as much). This seems like the perfect option... except they only sell the Artisan mixer at 300 watts. Which would probably serve me just fine, since I have survived this long without one, but, cooking snob that I am, I wanted a professional, 575 watt mixer... but I can only find those in the 110 volt version, but about the same price as this Artisan 220v one. Such a dilemma! I have been hemming and hawing and trying to make a decision... and just can't.

It may be too late for the 220v mixer though, they take at least 3-5 days for shipping and that may not be enough time right now.

The other issue, much more important, that is causing this creeping tension up my back and into my neck and shoulders, is choosing a shipping company. We got a few quotes, one almost double but probably a more reputable company, and two very similar, but both questionable somehow, maybe, I can't decide. We are waiting for one last estimate, but they are taking forever... and our supposed shipping date is NEXT WEEK! I have been thinking about it non-stop and emailing and calling back and forth with company reps and such. One company SEEMS very transparent, but I just feel uneasy about it. I have decided several times to just go with them and schedule it and then I back down and wait a little more. I keep reading reviews and recommendations on google (my best friend and life partner) trying to find something that will help ease my mind. There are just so many potential problems and I don't want to be taken advantage of or lied to, or duped, or screwed... and I want my few irreplaceable possessions to arrive to their destination.

I guess, worst case scenario, we can put our boxes in storage (though it is more work) and make a decision when we have more info and feel better about it. We won't be flying out for a bit still... still waiting on the consulate.

Why am I so paralyzed by decisions? I am starting to wonder if maybe I just wait it out until I am forced to take the option that I want to take but am hesitant to formally decide on. hmmm I'll have to think about that and get back to you...